I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
