Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
