So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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