this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
