oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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