I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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