Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
