So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
