spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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