Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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