dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
