Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i jhust puked up my retainher.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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