Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize