No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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