Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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