Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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