Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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