they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
