My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
