ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.