dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?