I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
did you just send me my own nude
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.