Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
