dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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