apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
