Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize