I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
