turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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