ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
