Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
