my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
