like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize