I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I smell like Dick and happiness
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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