i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
