I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
