I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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