She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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