We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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