He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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