She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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