Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
