I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
