Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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