he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
