You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
