I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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