I just cut my nipple shaving
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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