What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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