just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
