Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
