Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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