We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
