btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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