did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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