I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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