things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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