Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
