Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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