saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
