he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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