College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
