there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We are all done wearing pants today
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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