I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
