I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
