He kissed a someone with a penis
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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