I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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