Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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