whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
