I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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