I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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