okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
