I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
