look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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