just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
