Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
