My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
