Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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