shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
